The church often “side-steps” Good Friday with children. I understand the impulse, but children are so
acutely aware of the danger and violence of this world viscerally before
verbally. School violence, images on screens, video games, flowers dying in
winter… It is often unspoken but ultimately unavoidable. The Erickson Institute states that “it is, in
fact, highly damaging for a child to experience trauma before they have the
language skills to create a narrative of their experience.”[i] Therefore, I feel it is
important to give children language to talk about the things they see, hear,
and notice around them… Especially faith moments like Holy Week and Good Friday.
How would you do that with the story of Jesus’
crucifixion? Taking my cue from Mr.
Rogers, we can “look to the helpers.”[ii] Jesus died, but he was not alone. His friends
were there. His mother was there. God was there. Jesus must have been so scared. His friends
must have been so sad. Even then, Jesus was trying to help his friends feel
better. He talked to the other people on
the crosses. He asked a friend to take
care of his mother. Jesus knew that when
it would be hard to see him, they could find his love in each other. We can find Jesus' love in each other even today. We can be a helper in Jesus' name.
Ask your child to think, how can we help? I wonder how
people can see that Jesus loves them by what we do? Look in a mirror and say, “I
see a helper. How can we help? What is one way that others can see Jesus’ love
in you?” How can we help others know that they are not alone? Giving children
language to talk about the feelings and events around them is one way we tell
they that they are not alone.
[i] https://www.erikson.edu/courses/14-pre-verbal-trauma-never-too-young-to-remember/,
accessed 4/10/2019.
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